WWF Raw 1993
March 1, 1993
The Manhattan Center
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Rob “Elvis Presley” Bartlett, Randy Savage
The show opens with Bret Hart coming down to the ring for his match, and Vince McMahon introduces the commentators, and focuses on Elvis being alive. Oh dear.
Vince: You’ve lost a little weight since we’ve seen you.
Elvis Bartlett: Well, I’ve been abducted by the space aliens, Vince, so they don’t exactly know the meaning of the word buffet.
Macho Man: That could happen to anybody.
Vince: Well…uh… welcome to Monday Night Raw.
Okay, that quote was funny.
Bartlett: You got a Slim Jim, Macho?
Macho Man: Ohhhhh, need some excitement?!
That was the last one, I promise.
Bret Hart vs. Fatu
This one should be good.
Bret begins the match working over Fatu’s arm. Bret ran against the ropes at one point, and Fatu dropped down so Bret would have to jump over him, Fatu popped up on his knees and Bret went flying over him, having his knees taken out.
This is where Vince said that Afa tripped Bret. Afa was on a different side of the ring, so he’d have to have arms that were at least 6 feet long to trip Bret, so he miscalled a rather nice spot. Oh well, it happens.
Bret drove Fatu head first into the mat, but Fatu stood right up and hit Bret with a super kick. Awesome. So far, this has been a really good match.
Fatu’s partner, Samu, makes an appearance, and Bret is at a significant disadvantage. The odds are stacked against Bret in this one.
When they come back from the break, Fatu has the advantage thanks to the numbers game. Fatu proceeds to work Bret over with several headbutts, and even a piledriver.
Bret has his great turnbuckle spot when he smashes into it full force. I always cringe when I see it. More guys should learn to hit the turnbuckles hard.
At some point in the match Bret’s nose started bleeding. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was one of the headbutts, but it might have been as early as the superkick.
Fatu and Samu pull a switch towards the end so Samu could save Fatu from the Sharpshooter while the ref’s back is turned, but Bret kicks out. They try it again, but it backfires, and Bret clears the ring of non-competitors, locks the Sharpshooter in and gets the submission for the win.
I really liked this match. It was fantastic from start to finish. This is how you open a show. Even if the rest is terrible, this goes a long way to making the show memorable. Bret and Fatu had a good amount of time and showcased wrestling at its best. If only the WWE would try this on Raw nowadays. Who would have thought that a wrestling match could open a wrestling show?
Mean Gene joins us for his WrestleMania report.
Mene Gene: I cannot believe the bal… the nerve, I should say, of “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase…
It’s always funny when Mean Gene almost uses inappropriate language.
Mene Gene runs down the WrestleMania card.
Crush joins via satellite, and he looks really sunburned. He says he’s going to crush Donik like he just did to a coconut. I imagine the video was pretaped, so it’s strange seeing the announcers react to it.
Koko B. Ware vs. Doink
Doink comes out with a present. I imagine it isn’t pleasant. Doink beats Koko B. Ware very quickly in this one, and wins with a submission.
Elvis Bartlett aims to meet Doink. Doink opens his present, and it’s a pie. He hits Elvis in the face with the pie. Elvis Bartlett likes it, as he tries to eat it.
Money Inc comes out and provides an interview. They talk about Hogan and Beefcake and how they’re going to beat up the “retired” men. IRS talks about how he smashed Beefcake with his briefcase, and how it was actually an act of compassion. It was a wake-up call. He then threatens to do the same to Hogan. They announce they are putting their tag team titles on the line.
Lex Luger vs. P.J. Walker
The camera comes back on Bartlett before the match, and he’s still covered in the pie. Well that can’t be comfortable.
The man who is the future Justin Credible gets annihilated by Luger. Bobby Heenan joins in by phone and talks Luger and how great he is. Luger knocks Walker out with his forearm, and then picks him up and uses him a prop in a promo where he talks about the average man and how he is a real man.
Vince announces that the Steiner Brothers, “Rob” and Scott are up next.
The Steiner Brothers vs. Duane Gill and Barry Hardy
After the break, Macho Man points out that Vince got their names wrong, and that the Steiners are going to take it out on Gill and Hardy. Poor Gill and Hardy. Scott and Rick proceed to beat the life out of the two jobbers, and it was over quickly.
Scott wins with a Frankensteiner.
The show closes with Vince telling us about the matches for next week.
OVERALL RATING: 2.5/5
Not too bad. The match with Bret and Fatu was far better than anything else on the show, and it’s perplexing to me that it wasn’t in the main event. However, it helps to remember that the philosophy of having a good main event for your TV show to close it isn’t really in place yet. The TV shows were designed to hype the PPV and live events, and I believe this may be a case of that. Give them a good match to open the show, and give them lots of hype for the PPV afterwards so they buy it.